Blessings in Transition?

In the midst of yet another major transition I’m asking myself, “Is there benefit to this discomfort?” “Where is the good here?” I have recently finished my year of volunteer service, moved out of the volunteer house, and I’m starting two new jobs, looking for a car to buy, etc… Needless to say I’m a little stressed. Pretty much all the time!

One of my new bosses described me to his wife saying, “This girl, her life is one big trust fall into the arms of God!” Yes, that pretty much explains it! To many I’m sure I look like I have no plans or little direction. There is so much uncertainty and I can’t tell people much of what I am looking towards in my future. I tell them that I feel called to be here, I feel called by God to do this work right now. Yes, I don’t know my monthly income yet. Yes, I am not using my nursing license at the moment. But yes, I know God has my life in His hands and I trust Him to show me the way.

I am very much human and prone to frequent freak outs. When I’m breaking down in tears or completely paralyzed and overwhelmed by whatever life happens to be throwing at me I know I need to slow down, move over, and give Him the time and space to comfort me, to work with me. @Corinthians 12:10 says “Wherefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

When there are cracks in our armor of distractions, false security, and self-confidence, That is when we are most able to let God in, to allow Him in. He is kind and will never force Himself on anyone if they are not willing to let Him past the door, over our walls, through our many, great, defenses. He waits patiently and He longs for us to come to Him.

Though I don’t always like the paths I have to go down to realize this truth time and time again, I am thankful, and I am blessed with this journey and this transition.

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Discerning Your Vocation

What are we supposed to do with the talents, skills and interests we are given? I am working through this dilemma right now.Am I meant for married life, religious life, or something entirely different. I went on a retreat and met some fabulous nuns about a week ago. I had never even begun to consider the religious life. Some very wise sisters told me to never say no, to always be open to His plans. He knows where I’m meant to be. It may be difficult at times but even in our struggle He is forming us to become more like Himself, and to become a better example to those around us. 

I realized that we will always be engaged in a struggle with sin and temptations till we die and hopefully join our Father in heaven. There is never a point when you’ve ‘made it’ or you are suddenly off limits to satan. It’s the constant fight and acknowledgment of our shortcomings that make us more perfect and beautiful in His eyes. There is never a moment, even at our deepest point in sin, that He will abandon us or love us less. This is something that I have struggled with a lot over the past few years recently, however, I have found more trust in His plan. Partially because I was so confused and anxious about my future and I told this to the sisters even though it was probably completely obvious just by looking at me. They all came back with the same response, “We are working on God’s time.” It is easier said than done. Patience, waiting on Him, praying every day, giving Him time to speak to our hearts, and talking to others about their call are very helpful.

The sisters I spent time with are Benedictine, their motto is “Ora et Labora” or “Prayer and Work”. Sister M. C. told me if we were to pray all day we would probably be fidgety from sitting or kneeling all day. Our body and mind need to be worked so we can be free to be the right level of tired that we can sit quietly and appreciate those moments more and make the most of that time. I worked hard and I prayed hard. I was given a wonderful balance of those and other activities. I was given a lot of time to think, read,and talk with the sisters and I didn’t want to come back! 

I can’t wait for the day I finally know my calling and the peace and joy that will come with it.

 

 

“For God is not the God of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.” 1 Corinthians 14:33

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