Blessings in Transition?

In the midst of yet another major transition I’m asking myself, “Is there benefit to this discomfort?” “Where is the good here?” I have recently finished my year of volunteer service, moved out of the volunteer house, and I’m starting two new jobs, looking for a car to buy, etc… Needless to say I’m a little stressed. Pretty much all the time!

One of my new bosses described me to his wife saying, “This girl, her life is one big trust fall into the arms of God!” Yes, that pretty much explains it! To many I’m sure I look like I have no plans or little direction. There is so much uncertainty and I can’t tell people much of what I am looking towards in my future. I tell them that I feel called to be here, I feel called by God to do this work right now. Yes, I don’t know my monthly income yet. Yes, I am not using my nursing license at the moment. But yes, I know God has my life in His hands and I trust Him to show me the way.

I am very much human and prone to frequent freak outs. When I’m breaking down in tears or completely paralyzed and overwhelmed by whatever life happens to be throwing at me I know I need to slow down, move over, and give Him the time and space to comfort me, to work with me. @Corinthians 12:10 says “Wherefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

When there are cracks in our armor of distractions, false security, and self-confidence, That is when we are most able to let God in, to allow Him in. He is kind and will never force Himself on anyone if they are not willing to let Him past the door, over our walls, through our many, great, defenses. He waits patiently and He longs for us to come to Him.

Though I don’t always like the paths I have to go down to realize this truth time and time again, I am thankful, and I am blessed with this journey and this transition.

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Quest for Joy

 

I am still in the midst of my discernment journey, and I was talking about this to a man I met at church. He told me a great story that I want to share here.

 

There was a little girl that had a string of plastic pearl beads. She loved these beads and wore them every day. They were her most prized possession, the thing she cared most about in the world. Her dad came into her room and asked for the beads. She said, “But these are my favorite.” He replied, “I know, do you trust me?” She handed over the beads, and he handed her real pearls.

 

The point of this story is to remind us that when we give up something we really care about to answer God’s call or to do what we feel in our hearts that He wants, He will reward us with something much greater than we could ever imagine. The sisters have mentioned to me that everything you feel like you’d miss, like having children, a big house, ext. is replaced with an unspeakable joy. You become a different person, you begin to want different things, you find joy in all you do as you have a constant reminder that what you are doing is for His glory.

 

Trust… faith… these are things we should hope to find. I just attended a presentation on the lives of the Missionaries of Charity, Mother Theresa’s order. They don’t have a lot of money, they don’t have insurance, they have faith that God will take care of them. The lady giving the talk said that one sister needed a major surgery, she called a volunteer and said “We need an appointment with a orthopedic surgeon, and it has to be free, we don’t have insurance.” The volunteer called the office of a surgeon that was recommended to her and explained the situation to the receptionist whose response was, “right…” The volunteer asked for her to just ask the doctor. She did, the doctor said “I’ll give her 15 minutes.” She came in and 15 minutes turned into 30 and he agreed to do the surgery for free and he then said “Any sister that comes to me for help, till the day I die, will receive it.” There are many more stories like this one. They all seem impossible, but God always provides for these women and anyone else who lets go of themselves and puts all their trust in Him.

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Where I find joy